Teaching self-confidence to an autistic child can help control violent tendencies and help the child learn other good values as well. One should help the child feel good about herself or himself. If he or she did something good, one should praise him. Self-management is only possible if the autistic child likes what he or she is doing or is interested in it. One should not try to dominate an autistic child telling him what he can do or not do. But the power of suggestion will try to direct his actions just like a normal child will gladly follow a proposal rather than a command. If an adult tries to insist on a little kid, he or she might try to resist.
Sometimes the way one communicates with any child affects the way he or she responds. An autistic child when approached in a manner in which he believes that he is in control will respond positively. The child will continue practicing self-control during all times of the day if one is careful in reminding the child that he or she is the one in control and that one does monitoring in a passive way not showing any authority.
This monitoring is a form of self-evaluation. When a child is in control, he or she may think more closely about behavior in the past and present. Set clear goals with the child-for example, an afternoon with no aggression towards others or a day at school with no self-injury. Every fifteen minutes ask the child how he or she is doing. Is the goal being met? If the answer is no, perhaps the child is not ready for self-management, or perhaps the goals are too unattainable. You want to make sure that the goals are easy to reach at first, and then move the child towards more difficult goals in the future. When a child is successful at self-monitoring, he or she will have a more positive attitude towards the experience.
Of course, an important part of self-management is a rewards system. Have the child come up with his or her own reward, depending on interest. Reinforcement will make these good behavior goals more clearly marked in the child’s mind, and by choosing and rewarding him- or herself, the child will feel completely in control of the self-management system. Choose simple rewards to start, such as smiley faces for every goal met and sad faces for every goal not met, and work up to a larger goal, such as a special activity or new toy when a certain amount of smiley faces has been attained.
One who wants his or her child to improve must not expect too much but must be very observant and persistent because achieving goals do not happen overnight. Never neglecting to reward good behavior, the child will persevere if one waits patiently never dictating but following the pace of the child. A parent, a sibling or relative caring for an autistic child should never forget to show him or her genuine love now and then.
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