Today is Kade’s 4th Birthday. It has been a quick 4 years. Kade is making great strides. I think back to a story I heard from a father who has an autistic child. He was discussing his son’s 5th birthday. He was explaining how the birthday party was for his son, but his son may not have known what was going on. He told a story of children running and playing, and his son on the outside. He explained how all parent’s want their Autistic child to integrate into typical schools, and typical classes, and typical social events. To be able to behave to a “norm” …whatever that may be. He then went on to explain at that very moment none of that mattered. Watching his child sit in the corner with absolutely no understanding that everyone at the house was their for him. That it was HIS special day. He wanted his son to feel the joy of everyone celebrating him.
It was a gut wrenching story. It was a story that hits home to all parents of Autistic children. Being my sons birthday I too was concerned. I thought about all the things he might enjoy on his special day. We also wanted to make it interactive for any kids we invited. We decided on Fiddlesticks. It has mini rides, bumper boats, go karts, and lots and lots of games with bright blinking lights. Sure fire attempt to get some stimulation.
To my pleasant suprise my son was interacting with the other children. Although he wasn’t as excited about all the many games as the other kids, he was indeed engaging in some sort of play. Jumping, and running in anticipation. As the kids moved on to the next game he went with them. We then collectively decided on mini golf. HMMMM is about all I can say to that silly idea. The scene: 4 children. 9 yrs old and 6 yrs old, brother and sister. 4yrs old and 19 months, brother and brother. NONE have ever played mini golf or for that matter seen mini golf, or goofy golf as my wife puts it. This was a prime opportunity to see if my son was understanding what was going on.
He has always been great with going with the flow. “If mom and dad are doing it I guess I will” seems to summarize his attitude. So I knew he would play along to an extent. He spent the entire time picking up everyones golf ball and placing it in the hole. Absolutely no idea rules existed and that standing in front of the person hitting the ball was a bad idea. However, It was beautiful! He developed his own game with the kids hitting the ball towards him and him chasing it down. He loved every second of it, and they included him.
I began to feel a twinge of pain for the gentleman who had told the story, about how desperately he wanted to cure Autism so he could feel some semblance of what we felt today. We spent the entire morning singing a funny happy birthday song and Kade smiled every time. We begin the trek home and from the back seat comes a little voice making a sound that very very closely resembles the words “happy happy birthday.” Also in the sequence that was similar to the way the song had gone 40 times earlier. Does he know this is his special day? is he happy about his birthday? does he know what happy is?? all of this ran through my head. By the time I made it home, I had a renewed determination to defeat Autism. The joy I feel looking back on this day is why we have kids. All parents should be able to feel it. I WANT every parent to have it, and I want to fight for my friend so he can have this day too!
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